These are real signs. If you know any, please submit:
Official Yemeni govt. sign to prevent double parking: Don't bark infront of the barking car.
Chinese sign: Nice electric shock. -hmmm, I disagree.
Another Chinese & English sign: Please keep chair on position and please keep table cleaned after dying. Thanks for your cooperation.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. --hmmmm....
In the reception of a Romanian hotel: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In an African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. -no comment
In a Tokyo hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid between 7.00 and 10.00 daily. -I won't comment on that one either
In the reception of a Moscow hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. -great way to promote Russian tourism!
In an Austrian ski lodge: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Greek tailor shop: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. --so why order the summer suit if I won't live to wear it?
From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition af Arts by 15000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. ...and what would a pregnant woman be doing at the bar?
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. ...his main clients must be men
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. ...no wonder bottled water is still popular.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Final Chinese sign, on car license plate: Don't touch yourself! Let us help you try out, Thanks!
You can see why it's a good idea to hire professionals!
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